Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Today is Wednesday and I'M NOT DOING CHEMO!

It's been a whole two weeks since the last treatment. I'm really starting to feel better! The neuropathy is very bothersome, I have some headaches and my concentration/ thinking ability is still shot, but- NO MORE NAUSEA. Nausea is my enemy! I'm the most relieved to not have to deal with that anymore!!

I have been keeping busy with holiday preparations and getting ready for our remodel. A few months ago we got started by having the property boundaries marked and having the designer draw up the as-built plans. Today we have a meeting with him to get started on drawing up the addition. When I first found out I had cancer we put all the plans on hold, but then I realized it was a great project to keep my head a smidgen in reality and it gave me something to dream about. And maybe there's a bit of thinking that we should do the things we want to do, and not put them off...

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Dysfunction

The last few days have been very trying. My last chemo treatment is behind me, but I'm forgetting that I still have tons of it left in my system. I keep thinking I can do everything like normal now, and it is frustrating to not be able to do much of anything. My brain just feels fried. And it's making me mad!!! grrrrr.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

uphill/downhill

Well, this is it. The last one... The last infusion I will ever have to do, or at least I'm hoping for many years before any kind of relapse. At least 5 years would be nice, before I have to deal with this again. But let me repeat, my first choice is to NEVER have to do any more chemo... EVER. I'll be going in for bloodwork every few months, then that will spread out to every 6 months, then once a year. My next appointment is set for Jan. 7.

So, I'm preparing to go in this morning. This involves taking an ativan for anxiety and nausea. Sitting still to keep nausea at bay and hoping to sneak a little breakfast- peppermint tea and a slice of sourdough toast. We'll see how that goes.

Then when I am at the center I quess it will be my usual routine- barf, quickly get my IVs in place, more ativan, then a nice long nap for the rest of the time I'm there. I owe a bit of an apology to some of my dedicated past visitors- Jewelz, Veek, Serafine, Kevin, Amacker, Ethan, Sarah... I don't think I was very good company.

I was talking on the phone with Laura yesterday, we've been scheming up a little Costa Rica trip for when I'm back to "normal". I mentioned that it is all uphill from here. Then I got confused, is it all downhill from here? If it's uphill it sounds like things are going well and things going downhill aren't going well. But it's also that going uphill sounds like more of a battle that you would have to work hard at, and saying it's all downhill from here, means that things will be easier with less obstacles. Or am I making this way more confusing than necessary?