Guess I need to process a bit more... (Part 2)

Yesterday I went for a CT scan of my abdomen at the request of my liver doctor. For those of you who don't know, I have chronic hepatitis C. It has never given me a problem, but I need to keep tabs on it with yearly check ups. My last two blood tests done during chemo showed my liver function numbers were off, and so the CT was ordered to check for liver cancer. Just in case...

When I arrived I had to fill out a form which talked about putting in an IV, and all of a sudden I had a total emotional meltdown. I think it was a combination of a few things. IVs remind me of chemo... Chemo is yucky. Another part of it is that the last time I went for a CT they found ovarian cancer and the doctors had also said they were doing the CT just to rule it out. I really fell apart! I'll get the results of the scan next week.

Oh, the old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be

My hair has now grown back to about the length it was when it fell out, but it's growing in with a very different texture- very soft with distinct waves that weren't there before. And much grayer!

Guess I need to process a bit more...

Yesterday I went to visit my dad in the hospital. The night before he had some kind of episode where he woke up disoriented so they kept him to do a variety of tests. When I walked into the ward, I had a sudden and very strong emotional reaction to being there. Even though it was a completely different hospital, it just really reminded me of when I was in for my laparotomy, and finding out about the cancer. I had to stop for a moment to breath deeply to stop the panicky feeling from taking over. Didn't realize this stuff was so close to the surface...

! Que Rico !

Costa Rica was insanely fun! Laura and I got back Thursday night, me with a backpack covered in honey and Guaro (sorry Larnie and Bodil), and I'm just starting to feel adjusted to "real" life.

Most of our trip was spent on the Caribbean coast near Panama, a small string of towns including Puerto Viejo, Playa Cocles, Punta Uva and Manzanillo. We stayed at La Costa de Papito, an amazing place in the jungle, but just across from the beach. We spent lots of time avoiding potholes with our bikes, eating lots of fish, drinking lots of batidos, swimming and relaxing. We also did a canopy tour including ziplines, and went to the botanical garden. There were torrential rains, but we didn't let that stop us!

We also visited a small indiginous community of Bribri indians called Yorkin. They have recently lost a chunk of their village, most importantly their medical center and a bridge which links many families with the main area. We saw kids going home from school walking through the river, waist high, and it will only get worse when the rainy season hits. They need a bridge! If anyone has any ideas or connections to companies needing to make donations please let us know!

The other highlight of this trip was white water rafting on the Pacuare river near Turrealba, a mountain town. Not only did we go rafting, Laura and I were in the front of the raft! And it was class 3-4 rapids! We sort of got bamboozled into it by a sneaky tour guide who told us it was really easy, and when Laura asked if anyone ever fell into the river he said only about 1 person every 10 trips. Well, 2 people in our raft fell out, along with about 10 other people from the other rafts. Laura and I got tossed around quite a bit, but managed to stay in. Needless to say, we were quite impressed with ourselves. And it was one of the funnest things I've ever done!

One of the best parts about this trip, besides all that, was NOT thinking about cancer. I don't see anything wrong with escapism. In fact, I HIGHLY recommend it! Now that I'm back home, I'm busy perusing the internet dreaming about whatever my next trip might be. If you want to see the rest of my photos, you can find them here. Best way to skim through them is by making the thumbnails bigger with the toggle in the right hand corner. Enjoy!

Bucket List

Well, I haven't actually made one, but if I had, going to Costa Rica would be on it. And I'd be able to cross it off the list after this Thursday when our plane lands in San Jose. Yes! I'm heading to Costa Rica with my friend Laura! The day after tomorrow! We are going to be mainly on the Caribbean coast down by Panama, and we'll do some side trips from there. I'm not a super adventurous traveler, so this is definitely pushing my boundaries, but I think that may be part of why I'm doing it to begin with. Cancer certainly has shifted my perspective. I used to feel almost like I'd be here forever, but now I'm setting my sights on making it to the 5 year mark. And I'm one of the worst procrastinators I know! So there are a lot of things I've always wanted to do, have been meaning to do, etc. and now I know that now is the time to do them.

Post-op

Today I went for my post-op appointment with the oncologist and got news that may not necessarily be good news, but at least it wasn't bad news- the pathology report from the washings from my abdomen didn't show any cancer cells. This doesn't mean there isn't any cancer, but at least it didn't show that there IS cancer! The plan now is to go back in 3 months and to monitor with blood tests and pelvic exams. My doctor says my situation is "as optimal as it gets." So I remain cautiously optimistic!

Peritoneal Implanted Port

Here's a photo I foundonline of the type of
port I had. I wanted to ask the doctor if I could keep the one they took out, but didn't
realize I'd be basically unconscious...